September 30, 2014: Yesterday was all about the gross, bitter, skunky coffee (now that it isn’t a coffee holiday anymore, I can say mean things about it). Today honors a far better beverage: National Hot Mulled Cider Day. I could drink hot cider until the cows come home. And perhaps I will.

I don’t plan on celebrating Chewing Gum Day; I usually only chew gum when I’m on an airplane. They don’t sell gum in the Disney parks, and Walt had the right idea on that — people are gross, and spit their gum out anywhere they like, and then you step on hot chewed gum, and it gets stuck in the treads of your shoes. Bottom line, gum is evil. And loses its flavor really fast. Which is extra evil.