May 14, 2013: Wait, what you do mean National Dance Like a Chicken Day means a different kind of dance? You mean chickens don’t do a sultry tango? What, should it be a scandalous paso doble?

I’m sorry, I’ve never heard of this “chicken dance” of which you speak. Is it a Viennese waltz?

No, I haven’t been to a wedding in at least 10 years. Guess I’ve been missing out.