Maybe I should try some pig calls on the cats. Sooo-wee, cat cat cat! They’d probably come running just as often as they already do when I call them any other way — sometimes, when they feel like it.

It’s also Donald Trump’s birthday today. You can either tell people he shares his birthday with Pig Callers Day, or with Pause for the Pledge Day, or with Monkey Around Day, or with Own Your Share of America Day. (I’m going to go think about all of those, while I have some bourbon.)

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