July 21, 2014: If it’s National Junk Food Day, then I’m all about the chips. Either American chips (crisps to you across the pond) or foreign chips (fries, to those of us in the USA) — if it’s salty and made out of potato, I will put it in my face-hole. Today is also Legal Drinking Age Day, which is kind of a weird holiday. I mean, once you turn your local legal drinking age, you’d celebrate it then, right? On your birthday? I guess this is a holiday where we oldsters can lord our legal drinking ability over those too young to buy. Or something.

On the junk food front, I had a friend who had an ongoing argument with another friend. One of them insisted that Cheetos were counted as “chips”, while the other argued that no, of course they’re not chips, they’re “snack food”. I leaned more toward the “snack food” camp, as to me, an American chip is specifically a slice of fried potato; ergo, a puffed stick of corn cannot be called a “chip”. Which is also why “Sun Chips” are not chips to me. (They’re also gross and made with a thousand ingredients. I’ll stick with potatoes, oil, and salt, thanks.)