July 1, 2014: Happy Canada Day, or as some would say, bonne Fête du Canada! A special shout-out to commenter weecanadian: may your homeland be proud and strong and ultra-polite. We stand on guard for thee!

Today is also International Joke Day, so why not pull out that one about the pirate with the steering wheel down his pants? Or the one about the string who walks into a bar? Oh, no, I know, what about that one that ends with “know it? I wrote it!” (I spent two decades as a comedian, but only a few years doing stand-up. There aren’t really any “jokes” in improv, which I’m forever grateful for.)