January 1, 2014: Happy 2014, everybody! And happy Global Family Day; hopefully you’re able to spend at least part of the day with the people who mean family to you, whether related by blood or just your nearest and dearest friends. Today is also Apple Gifting Day — they’re not just for sucking up to teachers. Give the gift of apples, and you give the gift of deliciousness. Except for Red Delicious apples, that is, since as I’ve already stated, they are an abomination. Golden Delicious are right on their heels. So for me, this is Granny Smith Gifting Day. Or maybe a nice apple cider. Preferably hard.

In addition to over a dozen other weird holidays, today is also Z Day; in a world where alphabetical order is king, this is the one day where the sad, lonely letter Z takes the spotlight. So head out to the zoo! Ride a zipline! watch a zombie movie! Put some zucchini ziti in a Ziplock and drink some zinfandel! Or if you’re a Scrabble player, have a zesty slice of za.