February 5, 2014: It used to be National Weatherman’s Day, but now it’s National Weatherperson’s Day (Because it’s not all about men; without The Weather Girls, how would we know whether or not it’s raining men?). On the chocolate side, because the year just doesn’t have enough chocolate-related holidays, today is both National Chocolate Fondue Day and World Nutella Day. So expect a forecast of waves of chocolate across most of the country in a phenomenon we’re calling the “Cocoa Vortex”.

I’ve had chocolate fondue, but I’ve never actually had Nutella. I’m afraid of it, because while I like chocolate, I can’t stand hazelnuts. I personally think they taste like dirt. (I’m also one of those people who think cilantro tastes like soap, and I also hate black licorice. So there you go.)