Let’s not just celebrate tortellini today: it’s also National “Italian Food” Day, also known as “Eat Italian Food” Day. Those quotation marks aren’t mine, friends — they’re used all over the internet. I don’t know why “Italian Food” needs to be in quotation marks, unless we’re being sarcastic. Maybe we’re supposed to celebrate food that purports to be Italian, but isn’t true Italian. So I guess today, celebrate by eating … I dunno, a jar of Ragu poured over spaghetti squash.

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