December 4, 2013: Today is Santa’s List Day — apparently, the day where the old man makes his final version of the naughty-vs-nice list. So after today, you can be as naughty as you want to be. It’s also the perplexing Wear Brown Shoes Day, when you should shake up your wardrobe by putting the black shoes away and making the ballsy choice of wearing brown. Seriously? I’m looking at my frequent-wear shoes right now: pink, leopard spots, zebra stripes, and rainbow plaid. Brown would be a downer. (Or a browner, one might say.)

As for National Cookie Day, I guess we’re heading into the food-heavy days of December. Now is the time to start thinking about all of the holiday cookies you’re going to make. Gingerbread! Tea Cakes! Sugar Cookies! Butter Cookies! Although looking at Santa’s list of cookies, I’d say that Oatmeal Raisin definitely belongs on the naughty list. Those things are an abomination.