December 19, 2013: Of all the delicious foods that could have been celebrated today, we’ll celebrate none. Instead, it’s Oatmeal Muffin Day. Although I suppose it could be worse; we could be honoring bran muffins. Are those even still around? Or did they die along with the crazy cholesterol panic back in the ’80s?

It’s also National Re-Gifting Day, a time to climb up to the top shelf of the closet and pull down the weird thing you were given last year. Wrap it in fresh paper, and it’s the perfect gift for someone you don’t particularly like that much. OR, perhaps you have a history of re-gifting the same item back and forth with specific people. In my family, it was a hot dog warmer, and it was passed between my parents and my cousin several times. I wonder if someone still has that thing; I don’t think it ever actually got used.