April 6, 2014: Today is Sorry Charlie Day, and the internet would have you know that it’s to celebrate those poor sad sacks in your life who are getting constantly rejected. I have to ask, isn’t this, like, the first day that Charlie the Tuna appeared in ads? Or the birthday of his creator, Tom Rogers? Info is hard to find on this one. Fun fact: when I was a camp counselor all through college, my fake name was Charlie Tuna. Though everyone called me Chuck.

Today is also Tartan Day; “tartan” originally referred to the weave of the cloth, but over time has come to mean the kind of plaid. There are apparently tons of rules that apply to what tartan color schemes you should wear; what Charlie here is wearing is close to a Barclay, but not quite. Last but not least, it’s New Beer’s Eve, the day before Prohibition was repealed here in the USA back in 1933. Beer sales begin again tomorrow, so don’t cry, Charlie — we’ll fill that empty glass then.